I am already the proud holder of a Dublin Teacher's Table Tennis (ping pong to you) Division Three winner's medal from sometime back in the early years of the last century (I recall that the Somme offensive was progressing nicely for the German Army as I lined out in the final). However nothing can compare to the honour bestowed upon me by my former teammates of the Marlay Martyrs.

The club traces its origins back to the innate thriftiness of someone born in Co.Cavan. Even though I moved to Meath at an early age I was already infected with the reluctance to lash out unwisely with money. So having purchased three baseball gloves for me and youngsters in California in the summer of 1988 I was determined to get good value out of them. Hence the first gathering in Marlay Park. From there it was but a short journey to world domination. That, however, was not possible until I was dropped from the team and replaced by someone with an actual talent for the game of softball. But that was not before we realised we were on to something when we won our first challenge game in St.Andrews College against the American Embassy (oh heady stuff) thanks to an unlikely catch at second base by an astonished Anne Lyster. In those days the stalwarts were Americans Frank Birney, Michael Taft, Steve Beck and Cilla, not to mention homegrown 'talent' like Julian, Mary, Garvan, Drew and Lonnie. I am speaking, of course, of the pre-Columban period - positively Jurassic.

We would go one to become the most reviled and hated softball team in the Dublin League - something of which I, for one, was immensely and immaturely proud. Sadly the B team, to which I was quickly relegated, could never quite attract the opprobrium of the A team. That has always been one of the great regrets and sadnesses of an otherwise happy life.

I think it was the iconic skull and crossbones logo that really got up the noses of the opposition - that and the fact that we were the best team around and always seemed to manage to come up with a new American Babe Ruth at just the right moment. Opposing teams (I will not dignify them or profane this website by mentioning their often bizarre names) were of the opinion that 'The only good Martyr is a dead Martyr' which is, of course, an egregious example of blatant tautology. No wonder they were such losers!

I shall keep the Hall of Fame well dusted during my occupancy and as long as property prices are falling will not attempt to realise the equity.

Onwards and upwards fellow Martyrs.

- Myles Dungan